by AnxietyBuddha on July 18, 2008
This morning I do not feel super. I know this will pass but in this moment it is not a great feeling. A bit dizzy, worried, and anxious. I know these feelings will pass in time. I most likely will feel better this afternoon. For whatever reason my anxiety, when it does present itself, tends to manifest in the morning.
As I enter these words I do have anxiety coursing through my body. I am starting a new form of treatment today and the transition has begun. I can *feel* the change happening inside me already. This is unpleasant at this moment.
I just need to breath deeply, let things go, and lighten up.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 16, 2008
For a majority of the past decade I had been using traditional ‘western’ medications to manage the symptoms of living with anxiety and panic. Then about a year-and-a-half ago I decided to try an alternative approach. I weaned myself off of Paxil and then went stone cold sober for a while—no medications.
Then about three months after being off any medications it hit me. It was a wall of panic attacks and anxiety like I had not experienced since the first attacks of a decade ago. It was very overwhelming. If there was a positive spin to this it was the fact I knew what was going on. I knew the sensations, the feelings, and the thoughts. It was just like old times—”Mr. Toads Wild Ride.”
I knew that I did not want to return to traditional medications. They took away the anxiety, but they also took away all my feeling and emotion. They made me feel dull to the world—at least at that moment in time. So I explored other options and came to try amino acid supplements. I have been experimenting with them for just about a year now. Life has been up and down with very little regularity. Some people might say, “That’s life.” However, the extremes of anxiety, incessant worry, and a touch of depression once and while have been very hard on me, and more importantly to family—they cost me the enjoyment of time. Time is our most precious resource.
It’s not the amino acids fault, its no one and nothings fault, it just is what is.
I made a decision last night to go back and try traditional medication again. Made an appointment this morning, saw a doctor and have a prescription that I will pick up tomorrow.
We will see what this time is like with the medication. Our bodies change, our minds change, and we change with the passing of time. Different times require different approaches and at this moment I have decided trying a different tactics. I may be back to a fully alternative form of treatment—I plan to not abandon acupuncture, or meditation—but for now I need to try something else, a different combination of things.
Have you found different strategies and tactics to work better than others?
Have you experimented with different approaches?
If so, please share.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 15, 2008
When you get hit with a wave of anxiety or panic it either floods your body instantly, or creeps in ever so slowly. Either way it hits you and can make you feel horrible—at least that has been my experience living with anxiety and panic. Then the “fight or flight” response takes over. Most times my bodies auto-pilot response would be to fight—”damn anxiety you are not winning this time”—or fly—”I need to go somewhere or do something to get my mind off of this feeling.”
It is an almost automatic response to anxiety and panic that you would choose one of these responses by default, and I have all my anxiety laden life. However, there is another way—being.
Lately I have started “being” with my anxiety, not fighting, not flying, just being. We are, after all, human beings not human doings. I take it like this:
- Feeling of anxiety, dread or fear comes on
- Recognize what is happening—that this is anxiety and not the end of the world
- Scan your body, where do you “feel” the anxiety in your body?
- Take slow deep breaths and focus on the feeling inside your body
- What does it feel like? How big is it? What is its shape? Don’t judge it, just observe it
- Stay with it. Keep your focus on it as it may move do different parts of your body
- Stay focused on it until it dissipates. It will go away if you can focus on it long enough
I have done the above repeatedly now for the past month or so and have been able to not only help myself be more present to what is happening, but also be able to process the energy and emotions and get myself back to calm that much quicker. You can “be” with your anxiety and let it run its course and over time, with this technique help you get calmer, quicker.
Are there any variations on this technique that you use to help with your anxiety?
Let’s talk about it.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 15, 2008
Have you ever wanted someone who does not understand your feelings of anxiety and panic to live inside your body and mind?
Even for just a brief period of time?
I imagine this is not an uncommon thought among those of us who live with anxiety. I know that I have had this thought many times. In fact my mother, who also lives with anxiety, said to me the other day that she wished my father could just “understand.” She said that if “only he could be in my body for one day” then he would get it.
I think this desire comes from a place of wanting others to understand and the empathize. We are not wishing ill-will on another—we just want to be understood. We would like our spouses, parents, friends, etc. to know that we are not making the stories up, we are really feeling this way, and we are not crazy. As humans we all experience anxiety, but for those of us with the disorder this is a very different experience. The incessant feeling of anxiety can and will debilitate you if it is sustained and we just want others to understand.
Are there ways you have gone about helping people understand your feelings regarding anxiety?
Please share below.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 14, 2008
That is the simple answer.
No thinking about the past and what if’s.
No worrying about the future, because worrying solves nothing.
Start where you are in your journey of living a life with anxiety.
Welcome to the beginning of the AnxietyBuddha journey.
