I returned from vacation on Monday evening. I had a very relaxing and enjoyable time. I had such a good time that I did not want my vacation to end. More than one person I shared that with said that was a sign of a good vacation.
So the vacation was great but the return to work was not. I awoke Tuesday morning to nervous energy. As the morning progressed I started to have heart palpitations. I have had palpitations before. About 6 years ago I had an episode of palpitations from high levels of anxiety. I went to the emergency room thinking something terrible was happening. After multiple tests it turned out that what I was experiencing was benign. However, the feeling and sensation of the palpitations was unsettling and brought on anxiety about health issues—go figure! Over a period of time these palpitations subsided. I have had them once or twice but nothing like that period of time years ago.
The Return
That was until Tuesday morning. The palpitations returned brought on by very high levels of anxiety. My suspicions about what was bringing the anxiety on are pretty on target. I was feeling very anxious—downright panicked—about going back to work.
My vacation brought a large expansion for me mentally and physically. I was very relaxed and not feeling pressured. I was feeling contraction the morning when I woke up before I even got to the office. The contraction brought on anxiety. When I returned to the office the levels of anxiety went even higher. This continued until the early afternoon at which point my mental and physical energy started to shift and get more in sync with my being at work.
Being Present
I was very present to the expansion of my mind and body during vacation. It was significant and noticeable. The contrast of that experience to my return to work was dramatic and in retrospect does not surprise me that it caused issues with my nervous system adjusting to being back to work. I tend to be highly sensitive to shifts and changes with my nervous system. I knew that work contributed to my levels of anxiety, but the shift was larger than I expected.
(Just a note vacation was not entirely anxiety free. I have some things written down I will post soon.)
This is another step in the evolution of understanding the onion of my anxiety. Peeling away layer after layer.
Do you have a story about peeling away a layer of your ‘onion?’
Please share in the comments.
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