by AnxietyBuddha on August 20, 2008
A very important topic surrounding anxiety and panic disorder is awareness. Understanding who or what is at the root of your feelings is crucial to providing relief. Some people can live out their entire lives and never have ‘awareness’ of what their situation is. They live out their time with little or no sense that they have the power to change—as if they are a victim of circumstance. Other people have a heightened sense of awareness and that can help them diffuse, and choose, an alternate path.
What do you mean “Awareness?”
The type of awareness I am talking about stems from being present to what is happening. For example, I was getting up this morning and started my morning routine. In the midst of that routine something triggered a thought that was going to wind me down the path of brewing some anxiety. However, I was present enough and aware enough to notice what I was going to do. I could see it before it was going to happen. There was recognition of a predictable outcome.
At this point I could make a choice.
- Let things go as they would by fueling anxiety and panic and living out a predictable scenario
- Make a conscious decision that what I was facing was not catastrophic, life threatening, etc. and let it go
- Let my anxiety go where it will. However, I would observe the thoughts, body sensations, and feelings to see what happens. Not be a victim, but rather an observer
When you live with anxiety over an extended period of time you get quite familiar with it. You start to notice patterns and triggers. This is your awareness and it is key to helping you transcend the habitual ways of living a life with anxiety. When you start to have awareness of what is going on you are experiencing a fundamental and critical shift in your relationship to your life with anxiety. At first your timing may not be great. You may find that your awareness kicks in after you have been anxiety ridden for half an hour. Give it time. Your level of awareness will improve.
The key is to recognize what is happening, and that is your awareness. Once you have awareness you can choose a different outcome.
Have an experience with awareness that you would share? Please do so in the comments.
May this be of benefit.
by AnxietyBuddha on August 16, 2008
I was reminded this morning about the power of exercise. Not that I don’t exercise regularly, I do. In fact I exercise every day as I ride my bike 10 miles every day to go to work and some days I go to the gym to mix it up a bit.
This morning I had a lingering feeling of anxiety. One of those floating anxieties that feels as if it is not grounded in any sort of reality. One finds themselves searching their mind looking for the reason they feel the rush of anxiety but come up empty handed. This can be a frequently repeating way of being. I know it happens to me quite often. A visit from anxiety and an uncertainty as to what its root cause is. This repetition can become quite tiresome for anyone.
Today I had this exact feeling this morning and wondered how to stem the tide. “Thinking” about it and what was causing it was not working. What could help me shake this?
Exercise
Off to the gym I went. I spent 20 minutes working hard on an elliptical machine. The workout was tough as I pushed myself quite hard. I made sure to have the iPod with me to help get my mind into a different flow. It worked quite well because in 20 minutes I had a great workout under my belt and I felt much better. No more floating anxiety.
To top it off I went to the lap pool and swam for 15 more minutes. After these two workouts I felt completely relaxed with no anxiety at all. It was a very relaxing and enjoyable afternoon.
The habit of exercise increases energy, increases strength and stamina, and may help with anxiety by producing more serotonin.
Do you use exercise to help with anxiety and panic?
What exercises do you find help you best?
Please share in the comments.
May this be of benefit.
by AnxietyBuddha on August 13, 2008
I returned from vacation on Monday evening. I had a very relaxing and enjoyable time. I had such a good time that I did not want my vacation to end. More than one person I shared that with said that was a sign of a good vacation.
So the vacation was great but the return to work was not. I awoke Tuesday morning to nervous energy. As the morning progressed I started to have heart palpitations. I have had palpitations before. About 6 years ago I had an episode of palpitations from high levels of anxiety. I went to the emergency room thinking something terrible was happening. After multiple tests it turned out that what I was experiencing was benign. However, the feeling and sensation of the palpitations was unsettling and brought on anxiety about health issues—go figure! Over a period of time these palpitations subsided. I have had them once or twice but nothing like that period of time years ago.
The Return
That was until Tuesday morning. The palpitations returned brought on by very high levels of anxiety. My suspicions about what was bringing the anxiety on are pretty on target. I was feeling very anxious—downright panicked—about going back to work.
My vacation brought a large expansion for me mentally and physically. I was very relaxed and not feeling pressured. I was feeling contraction the morning when I woke up before I even got to the office. The contraction brought on anxiety. When I returned to the office the levels of anxiety went even higher. This continued until the early afternoon at which point my mental and physical energy started to shift and get more in sync with my being at work.
Being Present
I was very present to the expansion of my mind and body during vacation. It was significant and noticeable. The contrast of that experience to my return to work was dramatic and in retrospect does not surprise me that it caused issues with my nervous system adjusting to being back to work. I tend to be highly sensitive to shifts and changes with my nervous system. I knew that work contributed to my levels of anxiety, but the shift was larger than I expected.
(Just a note vacation was not entirely anxiety free. I have some things written down I will post soon.)
This is another step in the evolution of understanding the onion of my anxiety. Peeling away layer after layer.
Do you have a story about peeling away a layer of your ‘onion?’
Please share in the comments.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 31, 2008
The AnxietyBuddha is taking time for vacation with family. He will return the second week of August.
He plans on using his time away for rest, relaxation, and reflection. He is bringing along a notebook to record any observations that may occur.
Until then… be well.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 29, 2008
When you feel you are alone with your anxiety, when you feel no one understands what you are going through, you can lose belief. Belief in the fact that you can get beyond anxiety and live life in a calm place. It is very much like being alone on a raft, uncertain in the middle of the ocean of life. If you have a strong belief that everything will work out, things will flow easily. However, being alone can cause your beliefs to come into question. You may begin to doubt your ability to stay the course and stay focused. This is normal and happens to everyone who feels they are alone on a raft in the ocean of life.
The key is to realize that you are not alone. There are countless others out in the world this very moment that feel exactly the same way you do. I thought when I first experienced anxiety and panic that I was unique. I thought I was the first person in the world to feel the sensations I was feeling, to have the thoughts I was having, to experience life the way it was unfolding for me. All of that was untrue after I looked beyond my own mind. I found other people who were feeling the same way, having the same types of thoughts, experiencing the same things.
Remember that you are not alone with having your feelings of anxiety. You are not alone with your thoughts about “what ifs…?” There are countless others in the world who have similar experiences, and I am one of them. Know that you will have good days, and not so good days. The key is to know that “it too shall pass.” This moment will pass and unfold into something new.
How do you keep your beliefs intact when faced with adversity from anxiety?
Share in the comments.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 27, 2008
Another Sunday morning and another “feeling” going on. There has a been a cycle of these “feelings” happening for about a month now. The way I visualize it is as a sine wave. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday have a these “feelings” in mornings. By the time the afternoon rolls around I don’t feel it anymore. The rest of the week, Wednesday through Saturday typically don’t have this “feeling.”
This “feeling” tends to manifest itself in a sense of dread or doom. Both of those are very common sensations for people who experience anxiety and panic regularly. Knowing what I know about living with anxiety and panic for the past 10 years tells me to look at what thoughts, feelings, or sensations could be contributing to the situation. Today the “feeling” was concentrated in the upper chest. It was a ball of dense weight.
I took some time to focus on it—meditate on it. Interesting that when you take just five minutes to focus on the feeling and sensation that the energy you use helps dissipate the feeling. I have done this before and sometimes it may take 10 minutes, but the results work for me.
Anyone have a similar experience?
What techniques work for you?
Share in the comments.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 25, 2008
Some mornings anxiety welcomes me to the start of the day, as it did today.
I went about my business of getting up and starting my routine for the day. I was present to the axiety and tried to ignore it. However the feeling had stuck around until I had gotten to work. What is interesting is that because I was just ignoring it, it got louder. I have had waves of sweat pouring out of me and an intense sense of panic. This is remarkable as I have not felt this panic stricken in a very long time. I have some pressing matters at work, but nothing major. As I type this the panic flows through me like riding lightning.
My mind wants to focus on the panic but I am not going to let that be. I am going to take time right now to breath deeply, meditate, and relax for a few minutes. Then I will return to this post to share. [click to continue…]
by AnxietyBuddha on July 24, 2008
I remember my first panic attack very well. I can play it in my mind like a movie.
It happened 10 years ago while I was at work. I was sitting at my desk, working at the computer as I do, and I recall a sudden rush of energy flood my body. A sensation like a wave went from the base of my spine, up my back, up my neck, and over the back of my head leaving a tingling sensation all over my skull.
My eyes grew large and I remember thinking, “What the hell was that?” I then tried to shrug it off and refocus on what was at hand. However, there was no getting off the hook as I experienced a second wave of the same sensations and again wondered what was going on.
My First Flight
After the second wave my eyes were wide and I was full of anxiety waiting for the next wave of whatever that feeling was. I felt compelled to get up out of my chair and get outside. I left my desk and went for a walk outside for a while. The whole time I was wondering what had happened to me? What was going on? Was it going to happen again?
I had not a clue that what I was experiencing was a panic attack and that I was also having anticipatory anxiety about having another panic attack-a vicious psychological and physical cycle of thinking and emotions.
Educating Yourself
The next few days were full of anxiety and dread. I went to the doctor and remember being asked, “Do you feel an impending sense of doom?”
What? The word “doom” made me think of ‘fire and brimstone’ not what I was feeling. I said, “No.”
The doctor was asking the right question, but the phrasing was a bit off and I missed the chance at getting help from the get-go.
I then went about my day-to-day business with this new jacket of anxiety I was wearing and getting ’shocked’ with panic attacks every so often. I felt so alone and wondered if I was alone with these feelings. Was I going crazy? What is going on with my mind and my body?
Those first months were very hard. Not knowing what is going on and feeling so alone is an experience no person should have to endure. Luckily for me I started to get educated about panic and anxiety and begun to find treatment-it has been quite a journey.
That is why this web site exists, to let you know that you are not alone in this journey.
The circumstances of our lives may be different, but those of us who have lived with chronic anxiety and panic of any form have a shared experience that has to be lived to truly understand.
I am glad you are here.
May it be of benefit.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 23, 2008
Worrying is one of the top behaviors and products of living with anxiety. The amount of time spent on worrying about this or that is disproportionate to the amount of time spent on just about anything else, at least that has been my experience. When my mind is busy worrying there is not much else I am thinking about.
Old Habits Die
For a long time my worry centered on mortality. If I sensed something in my body, my mind would immediatly take me down the diagnostic road to some sort of terminal illness. Just for reasurrance I would go on the internet and search for the affliction I was worried about to find what I was feeling on the list of symptoms. Needless to say this only added fuel to the fire. I now do not go near the Internet when I have a body sensation. This is because I have educated myself on what physical symptoms are a product of anxiety-the list is long. So, now with a little education and a change of habit I have stopped the incessant worry about my own mortality.
What’s The Worry Now?
Now the worry that comes centers on other things, like money, security, and success. When the worry comes the mind goes to the end of the line with the ultimate catastrophe waiting for me. It’s the endless “What if’s?” that come one after the other. This is habitual thinking at its best, and it is powerful. The key for me with this is being present-knowing what I am doing and acknowledging it.
Taking Back Control
Once I start down the path of the “What if’s?” I do come to a point where I realize what I am doing. It’s very powerful to have awareness of what you are thinking. You suddenly find yourself observing the mind doing its thing, much like a hamster in a wheel. This presence of mind, or awareness, gives you space to see what is actually happening and choose an alternative. For me, I choose to bring myself to the present. Instead of “What if’s?” I start thinking “What is present now?”
“Do I have my health?, Do I have money? Do I have success?” and so on. Asking yourself what is so, at this moment is key to helping crack the cycle of worry and catastrophic thinking.
Do you have ways of dealing with incessant worry?
What works for you?
Please share in the comments below.
by AnxietyBuddha on July 21, 2008
Some mornings negative talk and anxiety can strike early and be very persistent. Even though one may be tuned into the “idea” being aware of negative mental chatter and its true meaning (nothing) the deep rut of habit takes over. We all know about the mental chatter. The thoughts of “I’m not this… I’m not that… They think this about me…” etc. These thoughts can breed more of their kind and can create buckets of anxiety for some of us.
One falls into this mental rut of habit and gets stuck there affecting not only oneself, but anyone he or she may come into contact with during the morning routine. To compound this I sometimes will “beat myself up” for letting myself be that way with others. But that is a another post, being kind to oneself.
This morning I found myself in one of these negative thinking and anxiety funks and did not shake it until I got into the office. The distraction of work is what got my mind away from the fruitless thoughts.
This pattern of habit, or pattern of thought, tends to come in the morning, it is always pessimistic and negative and typically results is creating a good deal of anxiety. So how do I take this on. Pretty simple really I have a list here.
So what can you do to stop the mental machinations?
- Stop what you are doing, get to a quiet place
- Sit and close your eyes
- Take 3 slow deep breaths all the while focusing on the inhalation then the exhalation
- After those initial deep breaths bring your breathing to a more normal rate but keep focus on your breathing
- If you have any ‘thoughts’ gently label them as thoughts and get back to focusing on your breathing
- Do this for a few minutes
This will initially crack the spinning wheel of negative thought that is going on in your mind. Much like a hamster in a wheel, the habit of thinking can wear you down.
You may find it challenging to get your mind to focus on your breathing and let go of the incessant chatter. Stick with it! It does get easier and speak from experience
How do you handle the mental chatter and negative thoughts?
Do you have any strategies or techniques to share?
